You Can Feel Good Again by Richard Carlson

Author:Richard Carlson [Carlson, Richard]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Published: 1998-08-31T16:00:00+00:00

HOW DO I BREAK MY HABIT OF NEGATIVE THINKING?

There are two ways, that I know of, to ensure that you can break your habit of negative thinking. The first is to tell a friend, or even a paid consultant, to monitor what you say for at least two days. Ask him or her to interrupt and stop you every time you fall into your old pattern. Tell him that you don’t want him to let you say anything negative or self-defeating; no “I have a right to be upset,” “You’ll never guess what happened to me today,” (if it was bad), no “I never should have done that,” or any of the literally thousands of other self-defeating possibilities. You can’t afford to be too selective in what you cut out, especially at first, because the best way to eliminate the negative thinking in your life is to strive to eliminate it altogether. The idea here is to break the old habit of negative thinking and replace it with a new habit of ignoring your negative thinking. You may be very surprised at how often you will be interrupted. Don’t take it personally and try to maintain a sense of humor about it. Your friend or consultant is there only to help you. Once you break the habit for the most part, you can go back to your normal life and things will be different. You will still engage your mind in negativity from time to time, but your experience of the negativity will be very different. Believe it or not, it will seem worse. That’s right, worse. In fact, once your own negative thinking seems worse than it used to, you’re on your way to recovery. The reason: You will have transformed a habit. Something that you have always assumed was perfectly normal, necessary, and healthy will now sound like a herd of buffalo running through your own head. You will feel the difference. As your own negative thinking begins to sound like loud and obnoxious noise, you will be less and less interested in continuing. The result is that you will begin to turn off the thinking you took for granted for so long.

Remember, avoiding focusing on your negative thinking is not denial—it’s smart! You aren’t denying that you are having the thoughts, you are simply training your mind to ignore those you don’t want. As less and less energy is spent on negative thoughts, you will find that there are fewer and fewer negative thoughts demanding your attention.

The second way to break the habit of negative thinking is perhaps even simpler, but will take more discipline on your part. You will have to do this one by yourself. You will need a four-by-six-inch index card on which you should write “What am I thinking now?” Write these words in big, bold letters and carry the card with you everywhere you go for at least one month. As often as possible, every few minutes if you can, look at the card.

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